Confidence and Resiliency

Shawnigan is one of my favourite places on earth, and being asked to come back and speak with you has forced me to think a lot about what I have accomplished since graduating.

 

For background, I want to explain a little bit about what my current role is. At its core, the primary role of a Chief of Staff is to be the senior policy and political advisor to a Member of Congress. My day-to-day role can consist of anything from managing a team of 18 staffers spread across five different offices to providing recommendations on legislation to coming up with strategies on how to help my boss win a race to be in the Republican leadership. And while this brief overview does not cover the full job description, for the sake of brevity and lack of a better way to put it, I am his right-hand man. I also want to point out that I am a relatively young Chief of Staff.

 

After being a student here just 13 years ago, I now find myself working in the highest levels of government, living out my dream. I realize that you are all here representing your schools, and countries in Model UN, and you should be proud of yourselves for getting this far. I am fully aware that, while we are all here because we have the shared interest in geopolitics, it does not mean that you will all want to one day go into a world of federal service like I did. So, when writing this speech, I thought a lot about what kind of skills or traits helped me along my journey.

 

I thought of two key terms which, I believe, express the traits that are crucial in achieving any form of success and are applicable not just to a career in politics, but to a career in any industry. Those two defining skills are confidence and resiliency.

 

Being confident is a skill that is underutilized. Confidence doesn’t mean you lack humility, and it definitely doesn’t mean that you lack self-awareness. Confidence is being able to give yourself a fair assessment and know that you have the ability to achieve a particular goal, or at the very least you have the ability to learn how to achieve that goal. The truth is that only you can really determine your confidence. No one can, nor should they, impact the way you perceive yourself, and you should know that anyone who tries to define you, put you in a box, or make you think less of yourself is someone who has no idea what they are talking about.

 

What is amazing about being here speaking to you all is that a lot of the teachers in this room were my teachers, my coaches and my administrators. Mr. Klassen was actually my AP US History teacher. And not to put him on the spot, but I think if you asked him or any of the other staff in the room who knew me, the idea of Reid Dagul being invited back to school to give the keynote speech, let alone any sort of speech, would be something they never could have imagined. But after my first speech back in 2011, here in this Chapel, at this same podium, in front of my peers, I knew I would be back to do it again. I didn’t know what I would say or who I would be, but I knew that I would one day be back.

 

I was confident in my ability, and while it is always great to receive praise from others, I didn’t need that praise to show that one day I would accomplish something that was worth talking about and worth sharing. My 17-year-old self could not have told you exactly who or what I would be, but I felt the way that I know many of you feel now. I knew that I wanted to do something bigger than myself and that I was going do to something bigger than myself, even if I didn’t know exactly what that thing would be. Confidence is a trait that can be inherent, but it can also be learned, honed and sharpened.  If you are born with it, congratulations. That is seriously unique, and something you should be proud of. But if confidence is something that is not natural to you, my advice is to think about who you are. Take an honest look and assessment of who you are as a person, and when you come to some sort of conclusion, I want you to know that you are capable of so much more than you realize. And if you just push yourself out of your comfort zone and have the confidence in your abilities, you will be able to achieve anything you want in this world.

 

Now, my second key term: resiliency. I think resiliency is the greatest skillset anyone can have. When I say resiliency, what am I talking about? I am talking about one’s ability to handle rejection. See, at the end of the day, you are going to be faced with a lot of rejection in your life. You might not get into the college you wanted. The girl you wanted to take to the dance or the boy you wanted to ask you might not even know you exist. You might spend hours of your life applying to hundreds of jobs, not to get a single interview. While it is depressing to hear, at the end of the day, your professional and personal life are going to be filled with a lot more rejections than acceptances. That is, of course, if you are doing it right. Because if you are doing it right, that means you are putting yourself out there. You are making yourself vulnerable, giving people the opportunity to say no to you just in the hopes that one person might say yes and give you that chance you need. You need to be accepting of rejection. While it can hurt in the moment, at the end of the day is has no impact on the trajectory of your life, unless you let it.

 

The truth is that no one judges you on your rejections and failures; they only judge you on your wins. Whether it is a potential employer, friend or soulmate, the only thing people care about is what success you have achieved. Everyone has a different definition of success. For some, it could be in their career, in building a family, or even giving back to their community. How you determine success is irrelevant. What matters is whether or not you achieve it. Now I realize this may seem crazy, but I have seen it first-hand. For a lot of people, the fear of rejection and the trauma of previous failures can be so consuming that it actually prevents them from going for what they want in life. And because these people fear failure so much, they end up achieving nothing of significance.

 

I have been rejected a lot in my life, but what I would say has been the biggest difference between me finding success and my peers who have failed is that I am resilient. I don’t want to sit here and lie to you and say that rejection and failure don’t have an impact on me or that I don’t care at all. Of course I do; I want to win in everything I do. But when the decision has been made and there is nothing I can do to change it, I move on. I don’t dwell. I don’t run it back in my head a million times driving myself crazy. I just move on to the next. See, life is a never-ending game. Every win or loss that you have today has zero determining factor on whether you win or lose tomorrow. The only thing that matters is that you just keep going. All gas, no brakes.

 

When I got into the real world and was forced to compete with my peers – people who are literally the best in the world at what they do – I knew when and if I had to go toe-to-toe, because of Shawnigan, I had the skillset to beat them.

 

I want you all to know that I was once you. I know it’s hard to picture your future. I know it’s hard to have the confidence in your ability and the resiliency needed when facing rejection, but I promise you, all of you here today have the skills to be successful in whatever you do. You are here today to compete against some of the brightest and most capable students in the entire world. And if there is anything you take away from this experience, I hope it is the promise you make to yourself that no matter what you do, you will go all in. Don’t let up, don’t quit, don’t let the others define you. Because right now, while you may not feel it, you are winning, you are exceptional, and you have the ability and skillset to accomplish anything you want.