In a book called The Four Agreements, author Miguel Ruiz says there are four simple agreements that can change our lives. They are 1) never take anything personally; 2) never make assumptions; 3) be impeccable with your word; and 4) always do your best.

 

Ruiz says to make these agreements with yourself, live by them and make them your guides, and you will avoid many of life’s worst dilemmas. I have used this wisdom over the years and found it to be most helpful.

 

“Always do your best” is the agreement I have had the most problems with, so for me it is the most important of the four. I want to take a few moments to look at each word of this four-word principle:

 

ALWAYS do your best. Always is a serious promise. Always is not most of the time. Always is always.

 

If I decide to sometimes do my best, I am not really agreeing to anything other than making an effort if I feel like it, and there isn’t much power in that kind of agreement. Twenty-five years ago, Mrs. Rev and I lived with our boys in a rustic cabin on a remote Gulf Island for 12 months. At the time, there was no running water on our property, so at the end of every day we would jump in the ocean and have a quick bath. By the middle of October, it started to get a little chilly. Mrs. Rev wondered, “Are we going to keep doing this all year?”

 

We decided then and there that we would. We agreed that we would always go into the ocean at the end of every day, even in December and January. And that’s what we did. This decision freed us from having to constantly debate the issue. That daily plunge in the ocean turned out to be one of the best parts of that year of island living. Promises have power when they are “always” promises. Do your best doesn’t mean much without the “always.”

 

Always DO your best. The Ripley’s House motto is Acta non verba. Actions not words. Do, don’t say. I have often heard Mr. Hyde-Lay say, “Be a doer of things.” We do a lot of talking. We talk more than we do. Or maybe I should say, I talk more than I do. I remember several years ago talking to a friend about getting out for a jog. I said, “I just don’t seem able to get out as much as I would like.”

 

My friend asked, “Have you ever gone out and started jogging and thought, this is too hard; I am going home.”

 

“Of course not,” I said.

 

“What is the hardest part?” my friend asked.

 

“Putting on my shoes and going out the door, I guess.” I replied.

 

“Right,” she said.

 

“Just do it” is more than a motto to sell shoes. The only thing holding you back from the doing is your thinking. So, think less, do more.

 

I often think back to that conversation. Most doing is just getting started. The rest happens almost naturally.

 

Always do YOUR best. “How can I do someone else’s best?” you might ask. But the point isn’t just to do our best. It is to refrain from comparing ourselves to someone else’s best, to stay focussed on what is ours to do, and not worry about how we stack up to other people who are doing what is theirs. And how difficult is it to not compare ourselves to others? Really difficult.

 

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus says that life is like a play and that we all have our roles. He wrote this 2,000 years ago:

 

“Keep in mind that you are an actor in a play that is just the way the producer wants it to be … If he wants you to act the part of a beggar, see that you play it skillfully, and similarly, if the part is to be a cripple, or an official, or a private person. Your job is to put on a splendid performance of the role you have been given.” 

 

How difficult is it to perform my role without wondering why someone else has a different role, a better role? Really difficult. But our role is the best one for us. We do what we are best suited to. Epictetus says that if we seek to do that which is beyond us, not only will we embarrass ourselves, but we will miss the opportunity of doing well what we are good at.

 

Doing our best rather than comparing ourselves to someone else is a key ingredient to living a happy and successful life.

 

So what exactly is the BEST, in always do your best?

 

Usually, this “doing your best” is translated to mean “try your hardest, don’t give up, your best effort is good enough.”

 

But there is another way to think about this: not just that your best is your best effort, the best that you can do, but that your best is your particular gift to the world. In other words, “always do your best” can be translated to mean “always contribute your unique gifts with passion and enthusiasm.” What is it that you have that makes you you, that gives you great satisfaction, that contributes to the well-being of the people around you? Always do that.

 

Of course, it isn’t so simple. First, you have to discover – to recognize – your talents. That is one of the main reasons we are all here, to explore what it is that you love, what you are good at, what makes your life full and fun. Not all of you will be elite athletes, or math wizards, or articulate writers or speakers or good actors, or fine artists, but each one of you have gifts and talents, and some of those are still hidden. So, we try all kinds of different things to discover the things you are best at. And there is no rush. Our best selves take time to evolve. It is a process that takes patience.

 

The other complexity in this is that not everyone will appreciate your gifts. And sometimes this is because people to whom you are offering your gifts may not need or want them at the time.

 

There may come a time when you go into a job interview certain that what you have to offer the employer is just what they need. And when they give the job to someone else, you will be amazed. We can only do our best for ourselves, because we are the only ones who know what our best is. Other people will benefit when we do our best, other people will recognize our achievements, others will appreciate our gifts and talents, but if we do our best only for those reasons, we will never know the joy and satisfaction of our own achievements. We will always be running after the recognition and praise of others.

 

“Always do your best” is a guiding principle, not a state of being, not a goal or set of goals to be achieved. “Always do your best” is an attitude and a way of being.

So, always do your best, and don’t take anything personally, and if I get a chance, I may share a few thoughts on being impeccable with your words and not making assumptions, but I won’t make any assumptions about that right now.