'Look past your assumptions'

Hi, my name is Mattias Pollitt and I am a Grade 11 student in Groves’ House. My pronouns are he/him/they/them, and I am nonbinary. Before I came to Shawnigan, I had never heard of the word “transgender,” let alone “nonbinary.”

 

Coming out to my parents about two years ago was probably the scariest thing I have ever done. I have done some crazy things before, but nothing tops the fear of telling the people you love most in the world that you are nonbinary, when you are not even certain that they’ll know what that means, let alone accept it. Luckily for me, my parents are pretty cool. Whilst there were many things that they have learned since my coming out, they have done their best to support me throughout and been by my side through everything.

 

For me, this was a profound experience, not only because I had the relief of accepting parents, but also because I could consolidate my Christian and nonbinary identities. Until my parents showed me that Christians could accept 2SLGBTQIA+ people, I felt like I had to choose between my identities. I am a proud Christian, and I am also proudly myself. My parents and our Christian community have shown me that I shouldn’t assume opinions based on someone’s identity or appearance. This is a lesson I continue to learn, as humans are wired to make assumptions, and I have to make a conscious effort sometimes. 

 

Unfortunately, despite knowing that assumptions are natural, I haven’t convinced myself to wear a skirt in a long time. I wore one in Grade 8, as I was female-presenting. No one batted an eye. Come Grade 9, I wore pants year-round as I was beginning to find myself and I wanted to present in a more masculine fashion. Some people would assume I was a girl, some would assume I’m a boy, and I didn’t really care, since they were strangers.

 

Come Grade 10, when I was feeling more confident in my identity and was fully out to my community, I decided to wear a skirt. When I was very young, I adored skirts. They were my favorite kind of clothing. They spun and twirled, and it made me happy. I used to have a swish test to determine if skirts twirled enough to be up to my standards. So, I decided to try skirts again. Considering I was out to everyone, I figured that people wouldn’t assume who I was based on a piece of clothing. I was dead wrong. Everyone assumed I was making some kind of statement, not that I just wanted to wear a skirt. All day long, I was asked if I was being forced to do this by someone or if there was a special event I needed to be in a kilt for.

 

I have not worn a kilt at Shawnigan since then, because I don’t want to spend all day answering questions and defending my right to wear a skirt. As much as I love skirts, as soon as I put one on, I am bombarded with questions and assumptions, I am misgendered, and given odd looks. I am no longer seen as me, I am seen as a skirt. I am so much more than what I wear, as is every person here.

 

My plea to you is to remember to look past your assumptions. As the old saying goes, don’t judge a book by its cover. I am many things more than hair, glasses and outfit. The key to an inclusive future is not to eliminate assumptions, but rather to question them. It is human nature to assume, so next time you find yourself assuming someone’s gender, value, abilities, or anything else based on their appearance, take a second to remind yourself that there’s more to you and me than what we can see.

 

No matter who you are, I hope you can be true to yourself, as diversity truly is Shawnigan’s strength. I would like to leave you with one of my favourite quotes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. At the end of Season 5 Episode 10, Captain Holt says “Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place.” Thank you.